Mama, Can we go see Skylanders? Let's go to McDonald's now Daddy. No I don't want to go in the kart, I will hold on and walk nicely. I am gonna race ya to Skylanders. Why did the Easter Bunny bring all the chocolates to Wal-Mart and not my house? No, I wont go in the kart. I am hungry. Brother, don't kick me. Mom Brother kicked me. Can we go to Mcdonalds? I bet they have skylanders. Why are we stopping again? Uh Mom, where is Brother's shoes? But I dont wanna go in the kart (crying begins here). Ah mom brother is sitting on me. Why arent we at Skylanders yet? I need a drink. Can we go pee? Brotthhhheerrr is hitttitng meeee. Dont look at me. Brother your not nice. I want to see Skylanders. Why are we only getting one yogurt tube? I want two. No I don't want the red yogurt tubes only blue ones. I wont eat that. Are we done yet? BROTHER STOP HITTING ME.....
Ugh. Every single time we go to Wal-Mart, we inevitably see "that" kid. You know the one screaming and throwing a fit while the mom looks stressed and half carries the child while continuing to frantically throw the last minute necessities in the cart. You look at them with sympathy, smugly think "Thank God that is not my kid". And keep on walking, rolling your eyes and thinking your kid would never behave like that. I have always been so proud of Cole because he has never had a fit in a store, and always walks beside the cart, holding it nicely. Sure he has the occasional moment where he yells at Caleb or drives me crazy, but he has never cried or been miserable. Until last night. Oh man...I was ready to leave him in the kids care section with a "Free to good home" sign. Naturally I had a double sided page full of items we needed to buy, and he was exhausted. And in his defense, Caleb move around a LOT in the cart and does often push on Cole unintentionally. But we tried to give him the chance to walk around and he kept refusing to hold the car or stomping his feet and crossing his arms (which I find rude and annoying). And he stops every five feet to look at a display. So, finally in the cart he went, which just made him even more mad. So there he was, exhausted miserable and crying. I was in shock. For the first time in his life, I said Cole you are being rude, and hurting Mommy's feelings. I am not happy with your attitude, and you are NOT making me proud right now. I tell him every day how proud he makes me, and he knows that is a good thing-when I said that he just stared at me. He knew I was mad...and he just stared. I know he was tired, and I guess to some extent I should have given him a break...but damn it, I am tired too, and he is old enough to know how to behave in a store. Ugh. I mean, he wasn't crying on the floor or anything, just in the kart and sulking but I could see people staring at me, and one lady even asked how close in age the boys were (22 Months) and said oh boy, you have your hands full. No shit Sherlock. And I always feel the need to say, well trust me, this was a big suprise to us too, but we are so thankful that they will grow up close-as if, I need to defend our decision to have two in two years. Which-by the way- was no decision. Caleb was a not planned miracle-but the option of "giving him up" was not an option...he was ours, and God gave him to us, created him, just for our family. Do I go crazy some days? Yes. Does Allen come home to find me crying some days? Yes. Have I called my sister sobbing and telling her never to have kids before? Absolutely. I am so thankful to have a few close people-we ran into a good friend of mine at the store, and she did not judge me for one second....I felt the support in her voice, and in the way she walked with me while I shopped. We could have stood there and chatted, but she knew I needed to get my shopping done and get outta there! I am so thankful for non judgmental friends. I sent Allen on a few errands to grab a few last minute things, and we got outta there as fast as possible.
Cole was asleep before we even got on our road (which, by the way, is about a 8 minute drive). He woke up at 4am to go pee, and as we were cuddling back in bed (yes, he still sleeps with us-if you wanna judge us on it, go ahead...I have heard it all LOL), he looked up at me, rubbed my cheek and said Mama I am so sorry for the way I was rude in Wal Mart. Forgive me? At 4 in the morning, he had woken up and remembered how upset I had been with him at the store, and the first words he thought of were to apologize. I instantly kissed him and told him it was okay, it was all okay and that I was sorry for being grumpy too.
Despite it all.....despite the struggle, the frustration, the grumpiness...I have a sweet, sweet boy.
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